So today I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I don’t know how it is managing to go so quickly now but it is really scaring me. I want time to slow down.
I’m excited to meet my second little daughter but I’m so happy being a mum of one and I feel like I want to hold onto that just a little bit longer. I guess a lot comes down to nerves for the hard times ahead which change always brings.
Im not one of the mums thats going to miss being pregnant. I’m so thankful that I am able to have carried two children but it has defiantly not been rainbows and sunshine, as crude as it sounds, pregnancy to me is a means to an amazing can’t live without it end, but there is an end for a very good reason. I can’t be a good mother while I’m pregnant. Im sure there are a lot of women who can power through but I’m just not one of them, I really struggle with the tiredness pregnancy brings me daily and its making me feel like I’m letting Sofia down.
Whenever I look at my bump moving around of its own accord I always try to think about how things will be. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to imagine this baby and what she will look like, all I can come up with is a double of Sofia, which would be lovely but I’m sure she will be similar but not the same. Im really curious now.
We bought a comforter for the new baby this week. Its really colourful, with a lions head on it and has different textures. Im hoping she will take to this, Sofia never wanted a comforter or favourite teddy etc but I think it would have done some good. I think I was her comforter! I just hope its not the same this time, I won’t be able to devote all my attention to the new baby all the time, I have my Sofia who also needs attention so I’m hoping we will get her attached to this lion.
I keep getting super strong what I can only describe as nesting urges, yesterday I just felt like I had to move the furniture around in the back room and it felt like it couldn’t wait until my husband was home so I did it myself. My back really didn’t thank me for that. It makes me feel so much calmer though to see it where everything is now. I can be a little like this normally but when I’m pregnant it seems like if I don’t move things or do whatever it is I have the urge to do that it starts to plague my head. So far this pregnancy nothing in the parts of this house that we use is as it was before I got pregnant. (I say the parts of the house we use as this is my parents house but we have our own living room and bedrooms here)
I don’t feel like my bump is getting much bigger as such at the moment. It probably is, its not like I’m measuring it or anything but I just don’t feel bigger. I feel so big and stretched anyways, maybe I’m just not noticing it. I find that in my head I’m smaller than I am though, my brain hasn’t caught up, I keep not being able to squeeze myself between people or things like I used to.
On the physical front I’m still very tired all the time and I’m defiantly not getting any good nights sleep. Last night all down my right leg was hurting all night for no reason, no matter how I laid it wouldn’t go away, hopefully thats not a new pregnancy symptom. I find I’m feeling sick every so often and getting quite a queasy stomach. Its usually on an evening that I’m feeling a bit nauseous.
Just 7 more weeks to go!