36 Weeks Pregnant

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Im 36 weeks and two days pregnant today.

I am so tired and today has been a good day so on the not so good days where Sofia didn’t sleep well and woke up early then was a nightmare all day I am just stripped of all energy. Its really hard.

At the start of the week I was still really hormonal but it seems to have trailed off a bit I think, either that or I’m just too tired to care about anything!

My stomach keeps feeling super tight for a few seconds, its strange, not sure if its just movements or maybe Braxton hicks. I never had them in my first pregnancy so I’m just not sure, I’m leaning more towards them being Braxton hicks though as most of her movements do feel very different. The movements are generally hurting like she’s stretching the skin of my bump whereas the tightness just feels odd.

She has started having hiccups a lot this week, Sofia had them all the time but this ones only just started. I wonder if it will continue, Sofia was still hiccuping all the time after she was born.

On Thursday evening I went to Maternity assessment unit due to having reduced movements all day. Things just didn’t feel right, I had barely felt her all day then when it got to the evening when she usually perks up she didn’t. I tried the whole lying on my side and drinking cold water and still she didn’t wake up so I called and went in.

Everything was fine, it took a while but she did eventually perk up and went back to movements that were hurting me again, never thought I would be wanting her to do it but it was so worrying when she wasn’t. They did seem to be concerned that the babies heart rate was high when she did move but eventually after a doctor looked over it they said everything seemed to be fine and I was able to go home.

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On Wednesday I got a call from the birth matters people, they weren’t able to fit me in for an appointment before my due date so the midwife spoke to me over the phone, I’ve been told they usually do these things towards the start of the pregnancy I think but its not been until this far along that I’m starting to worry about the birth and my midwife referred me at my last appointment.

She was really nice and she did manage to put me a little more at ease, she had my notes and explained to me that they didn’t really know why Sofia was small and I probably do just make small babies.

She said that there is nothing to suggest that if they hadn’t have picked up on the fact she had stopped growing and that my amniotic fluid was low that there would have been any bad effects on Sofia had we waited for me to go into labour naturally as she was healthy when she was born and she said when they checked my placenta it was fine, they can’t be certain if it had stopped working but theres nothing to suggest that it had either.

She said its a lot less likely I would need forceps again this time as even if I were to have an induction again things usually progress a lot faster the second time round.

I feel a lot better having spoken to a midwife who could answer my questions even though there were no real definitive answers its kind of stopped me thinking the worst which is what I do a lot when I don’t feel in control of a situation.

Just under 4 weeks left!

Danielle xx

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35 Weeks Pregnant

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I am 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant today. So as usual, completely late on this update! I do keep notes throughout each week so I can remember how things were though.

I really am feeling huge at the moment, not exactly sure how I can get much bigger but I’m sure I will as there is still a few more weeks to go!

As usual tiredness is a big issue for me and I’ve had a headache all week. I think this is down to being tired as I do drink a lot of water so I don’t think its dehydration.

For some reason this week I’ve felt really cold all the time. I thought when your pregnant you were supposed to feel hot but its not the case for me. It could be that this week has been particularly cold weather wise I’m not sure but I’ve found that no matter how many layers I’ve been wearing I’ve been cold.

I get a lot of backache from this pregnancy and when I lie down my ribs and hips hurt a lot. I think my ribs may be a bit bruised if thats even possible?!

I have been extremely hormonal lately. I keep feeling overwhelming sadness and keep crying, not overly sure why.

I had a really bad night on Monday where I was just crying all night, couldn’t sleep, felt awful about myself etc. I was even awful with my husband which I’ve since apologised for.

There is something about these hormones that can really kick me. I don’t know if all pregnant women are like this or if its just because the hormones set my anxiety and depression into overdrive.

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I feel her so low down now, every so often I get these pains, all I can describe it as is that it feels like she wants out! I don’t remember getting this last time when I was pregnant with Sofia or maybe I did but much later on.

I know at my last scan she was head down and I think she has stayed that way. I also think she is laid with her back along the left of my stomach because I’m always getting kicks on the bottom right side of my ribs and pokes on the top right of my pelvis. I could be wrong but thats how it feels like she is from her movements.

Ive become really forgetful lately, I have to write everything I have to remember down else it just goes in one ear and out the other. I also keep overlooking little things that I would normally be aware of. Unfortunately I never wrote down any examples of these and true to form I seem to have forgotten what I have been forgetting!

less than 4 and half weeks to go!

Danielle xx

34 Weeks Pregnant

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Im 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. Im a bit late with this post, I meant to write it on Thursday after my appointment but I had such a busy day and since then Sofia hasn’t really been herself, I think she is coming down with a cold and has been a handful!

Time really is starting to fly now. The closer it gets to my due date the more impatient I’m feeling but also the more terrified I am of the birth.

On Wednesday this week I had my visit from the health visitor, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t the same lady who saw me when I had Sofia. It seems a few things have changed in my area but the lady was lovely, its just that the woman who came last time was really good with supporting with breastfeeding and helped me a lot.

Obviously with my mental health issues there were a lot of questions etc focused around that. She has put me on something called universal plus which she explained to me was that I would probably just have a few more visits which to be honest I’m fairly happy about. Its nice to know other people will be looking out for me too as I did have problems with my depression after I had Sofia, I think its down to hormones.

On Thursday I had my 34 week midwife appointment. All the usual tests went ok and I’m measuring 34 weeks which is along the curve from the last time she measured me so thats good.

She has referred me to speak to a midwife about my last labour, I think she could tell that I’m really starting to worry this time. I’m so scared of the things that happened last time happening again.

I have a growth scan at 36 weeks but I’m worried that they may leave it at that when last time it was the 39 week growth scan they decided to induce me early, it scares me to think about if I hadn’t had that growth scan as I just have no idea what would have happened and nothing was ever really explained to me.

The few days starting from the day before my induction (I had reduced movements and went into hospital) up until the day I came home from the hospital with Sofia are so hazy but I just went along with what people told me was best and really didn’t ask any questions, id do that again as I do trust that the professionals know best but now its getting close to me having to do this again I wish I knew why they made some of the decisions they did. Hopefully speaking to a midwife with access to my notes from Sofia’s birth will help to put my mind at ease a little and make me feel a little less out of control about the whole thing.

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I keep getting worried because I’m sure she has stopped moving quite so much but then every time I really start to worry she perks up again so I think she must just be finding it harder to move around so she’s not doing it all day long any more.

Her movements are getting more painful for me, she seems really strong in some of them. They are more like her rolling about than kicking me now.

I don’t know why and I’m not really sure if its even something pregnancy related but my ears are so so itchy and hot. Its driving me mad!

My pelvis hurts a lot on an evening still and moving from sitting to standing or standing to sitting seems to hurt, these only seem to be getting worse.

Still no stretch marks but my skin on the bottom part of my stomach has become itchy so I wouldn’t be surprised if they may appear in the future.

Danielle xx

This little girls clothes

Recently I’ve been writing a post about our weekends on Mondays, which is something I really like doing as its family time that I can look back on as most of the things we do as a family happen on weekends.

If you read my post from Saturday you will already know I wasn’t having the best weekend and we didn’t really do much. We took Sofia to dance on Saturday morning but other than that we just stayed home.

Im feeling a lot better today. Theres something about Mondays that I quite like. Its like a mini fresh start.

As I said in my post about baby stuff the other week we already have a lot of baby girl clothes as we kept all of the clothes we had for Sofia and we love most of them still.

I got them all out to go through and wash a while ago and was amazed by how small Sofia was when she was born. At the moment I have all our tiny baby size and newborn size clothes out in her drawer. I may not need the tiny baby ones but since we had them from last time it doesn’t hurt to have them there ready just in case, especially as its looking like this little girl will also be a little baby too.

We wanted to get a couple of bits that we love that won’t have been her big sisters first. Its been so difficult to only buy a couple of bits cause every time we are in a shop that sells baby stuff I see newborn clothes that are so so cute!

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We got two packs of 3 sleep suits from M&S.

I really like blue floral prints on little girls. I’m not against pink I just don’t like to dress girls in pink all the time. I think the print with the rabbits all over will be our little ones coming home outfit, its my favourite.

Sorry there isn’t a link for the pack in the second picture, I couldn’t find it on their website so I’m not sure if they still do that print.

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As Sofia was born in June we didn’t have any long sleeve vests for her so we picked up a pack of them from M&S too in the same prints.

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We got a pack of Winnie the Pooh short sleeve vests from George. We didn’t really need more vests but if I’m honest I think they were a bit of an impulse buy but I’m sure I won’t regret having lots of vests from what I remember of looking after a newborn! These are similar, I couldn’t find the same ones online for a link.

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This knitted hat and mittens were from George, this was something we didn’t have from last time as it was too warm for knitwear when Sofia was born, she had some jersey hats but barely ever used them, she spent a lot of her newborn days at home in tiny sleeveless vests because it was so hot when she was born. Im hoping it won’t be too cold when this one arrives but with it being the end of march it won’t be overly warm yet either.

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This cardigan was from M&S, I loved that it was a nice pale blue that would look nice with her sleep suits and it has bear ears on the hood, it seems I can’t resist them! This is the same cardigan but in teal as I can’t find the blue that I bought in store, they have it in lots of colours.

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We also got a snowsuit from George as a just in case if its cold. Again it has bear ears on the hood. They’re just too cute!

I still have lots to sort out before she arrives and only a few weeks to do it. Im very excited to meet her. Im looking forward to seeing how Sofia is as a big sister. She loves looking after dolls and is so good with Tahlia, my niece, I’m hoping she will enjoy being a big sister.

Danielle xx

 

33 Weeks Pregnant

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So today I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I don’t know how it is managing to go so quickly now but it is really scaring me. I want time to slow down.

I’m excited to meet my second little daughter but I’m so happy being a mum of one and I feel like I want to hold onto that just a little bit longer. I guess a lot comes down to nerves for the hard times ahead which change always brings.

Im not one of the mums thats going to miss being pregnant. I’m so thankful that I am able to have carried two children but it has defiantly not been rainbows and sunshine, as crude as it sounds, pregnancy to me is a means to an amazing can’t live without it end, but there is an end for a very good reason. I can’t be a good mother while I’m pregnant. Im sure there are a lot of women who can power through but I’m just not one of them, I really struggle with the tiredness pregnancy brings me daily and its making me feel like I’m letting Sofia down.

Whenever I look at my bump moving around of its own accord I always try to think about how things will be. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to imagine this baby and what she will look like, all I can come up with is a double of Sofia, which would be lovely but I’m sure she will be similar but not the same. Im really curious now.

We bought a comforter for the new baby this week. Its really colourful, with a lions head on it and has different textures. Im hoping she will take to this, Sofia never wanted a comforter or favourite teddy etc but I think it would have done some good. I think I was her comforter! I just hope its not the same this time, I won’t be able to devote all my attention to the new baby all the time, I have my Sofia who also needs attention so I’m hoping we will get her attached to this lion.

I keep getting super strong what I can only describe as nesting urges, yesterday I just felt like I had to move the furniture around in the back room and it felt like it couldn’t wait until my husband was home so I did it myself. My back really didn’t thank me for that. It makes me feel so much calmer though to see it where everything is now. I can be a little like this normally but when I’m pregnant it seems like if I don’t move things or do whatever it is I have the urge to do that it starts to plague my head. So far this pregnancy nothing in the parts of this house that we use is as it was before I got pregnant. (I say the parts of the house we use as this is my parents house but we have our own living room and bedrooms here)

I don’t feel like my bump is getting much bigger as such at the moment. It probably is, its not like I’m measuring it or anything but I just don’t feel bigger. I feel so big and stretched anyways, maybe I’m just not noticing it. I find that in my head I’m smaller than I am though, my brain hasn’t caught up, I keep not being able to squeeze myself between people or things like I used to.

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On the physical front I’m still very tired all the time and I’m defiantly not getting any good nights sleep. Last night all down my right leg was hurting all night for no reason, no matter how I laid it wouldn’t go away, hopefully thats not a new pregnancy symptom. I find I’m feeling sick every so often and getting quite a queasy stomach. Its usually on an evening that I’m feeling a bit nauseous.

Just 7 more weeks to go!

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Danielle xx

32 Weeks Pregnant

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I meant to write this yesterday after my appointment but it all went bit wrong as Sofia had a 10 minute nap in the car and then wouldn’t go to bed until half 9! (she is usually in bed between 6-7pm)

So I’m 32 weeks and two days today. I had my 32 week growth scan yesterday afternoon. Baby is looking ok, she is 3lb 11oz at the moment which I’m told is the low end of normal for 32 weeks. It looks like maybe I just make small babies, Sofia was 5lb 15oz when she was born. I have another growth scan booked for 36 weeks to make sure the baby is still growing well.

Baby likes being awkward at scans, she never seems to be in the position the radiographer wants her to be in for getting measurements. Apparently she is head down at the moment, I guess its early days but hopefully she will stay that way.

Im finding sleeping so difficult now, I feel like I never get a good nights sleep.

Really struggling with the tiredness, I know I say this every time but it just seems to be getting worse. Most of the day I feel like I’m just going through the motions cause I just don’t have the energy to put into anything at the moment.

Its making me really crabby as well, I keep getting annoyed over everything. Ive never been one of them wives who gets annoyed at their husband for not reading their mind but at the moment I can’t help it, half the time I just feel too exhausted to explain everything that needs doing especially since usually it would be me who does most of the things I’m getting frustrated over so its not really even his fault as he wouldn’t think to do the little bits I do to keep things ticking over.

This is just what tiredness does to you, well me anyways, it changes me into someone I don’t like. I don’t play enough with Sofia, Im an annoying wife and I can’t do what I want to get done so I get frustrated all the time. I know I have a lot of tiredness to come with a newborn but it is different to when your pregnant, I feel like my body is the problem not a little baby who doesn’t want to go to sleep and I’m finding it really difficult to be patient with myself, its easier to be patient with a baby.

It doesn’t help that although Sofia is only 2 and half she doesn’t nap anymore, she dropped her last nap at 1 and half much to my dismay, I used to love nap time. It was a chance to get some down time to myself or get something id been trying to get done but couldn’t with a little one around without feeling guilty that someone else was looking after her but nap time hasn’t been a thing in our house for a long time unfortunately.

Im still finding my back and hips are really painful by the end of each day. The only thing that even slightly helps is hot baths.

Maybe a little tmi but I’m needing to go the loo so often now, I can’t seem to manage the night anymore without at least one trip to the loo and during the day I feel like I’m constantly in there and when I’m not it feels like she’s sat onto of my bladder!

To be honest things aren’t really too much different week to week now, everything just gets bit harder the bigger I get and although she’s a tiny baby, I feel massive.

Danielle xx

Getting ready for our second baby

Apart from the stuff like things for the hospital bag, nappies and day to day bits and bobs, I think we are sorted on “baby stuff”. I can’t think of anything more this baby could need.

We have our pram as we bought that a while ago and have been using it for Sofia for a while as we hated the one we originally got for Sofia, we mostly use a stroller for her these days but she does still fit in the pram. We went for the Mothercare Orb in red. I was looking at prams with my brother when they were expecting Tahlia (she’s now nearly a year old) and I saw the Orb on sale and fell in love with it pretty much instantly, my brother wasn’t keen on it but the shop assistant had come to talk to us and let us know they were selling the display model at an even lower price than the sale price so I asked if she would be able to hold it for me till the end of the day so I could speak to my husband about it. When I got home I did my research on it as it wasn’t a pram I had seen before and spoke to Chris about it. When we bought the pram we made sure to buy the Maxi-Cosi Pebble infant car seat in light blue plus adapters and the isofix base for the car which I also found on sale to go with it as we knew we would be wanting another baby relatively soon after. I know the pram is red and the car seat is blue but when the pram part isn’t attached there isn’t any red on the frame and I fell in love with the blue when I was looking for a car seat. The pram came with a footmuff and raincover and we have bought a footmuff and raincover for the car seat too just incase its cold when she’s little.

In terms of where she will sleep, we have bought the Snuzpod, I like the thought that I can breastfeed in bed then scoot her back into her own bed easily. With Sofia we borrowed a Moses basket from my sister in law and Sofia hated being in it and would wake up as soon as she was put back into it so we needed up bed sharing which isn’t something I want this time. Its not that I’m against it, it was lovely but we have only just got our bed back to ourselves as it is and we want to try keep it that way! Its also bigger than I remember the Moses basket being so I think it should last longer.

We have tons of clothes as we kept all Sofia’s old clothes and we are having another girl. We have bought a couple of new bits but we are trying to keep it to a minimum to save money as Sofia’s old clothes are all in great condition still.

Same as above really on toys, we kept all Sofias ones and have added a couple of little bits that are new for the new baby but we aren’t going mad on buying new stuff.

I plan to breastfeed again so we haven’t bothered buying any more bottles etc. Once I have breastfeeding established I will decide what I want to do about expressing. With Sofia I had a manual pump and I hated using it so I didn’t use it very often at all, I also didn’t feel comfortable leaving her for a very long time so it didn’t really matter that I didn’t express. This time I’m sure I will be bit more relaxed about letting other people look after her so I think I will want to express and if thats the case I will be looking into getting an electric pump. But thats all on the assumption that I will manage to breastfeed again so I’m going to wait and see how things go.

We have bought a chair for in the bath and a couple of new changing mats as we chucked our old ones away, they were getting tatty, a new one for downstairs and one for upstairs. We will probably just bath the baby in the sink while she’s really tiny which is what we did with Sofia but I’m not getting the baby bath out this time round. The chair is so we can just bath both Sofia and the baby together once she’s big enough.

I have got a baby wrap to try. I didn’t try “baby wearing” or whatever it is called with Sofia but she was such a clingy baby and I literally held her for her first few months of her life, any time I put her down she would cry constantly, she even hated swings and bouncers, only mummy or daddy would do. If our second is like this its going to make life with a toddler impossible so we will try using a wrap if we ever work out how to tie it!

We have also got a new baby monitor as Sofia still uses the one we had for her, I know a lot of people stop after a while but she still wakes up numerous times in the night and when we are downstairs we can’t hear her in her bedroom so we do need to keep it in there.

We do already have most things as this is our second child and I’m pretty much of the mind set that its not the end of the world if we come across something we need when they baby is here as we can always get it then. I was so stressed the first time round to make sure everything was covered but I’m so much more laid back about it now which is quite nice.

Danielle xx

31 Weeks Pregnant

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Today I’m 31 weeks and a day pregnant.

The little lady stretches more than jabs me now, I think she’s running out of room. She’s so active. Sofia was the complete opposite, I actually went into hospital a few times for monitoring last time but theres no worrying about that this time! She lets me know she’s ok ALL THE TIME!

Im really hormonal I think, I have really bad mood swings. To be honest its something I’ve had the whole time which is why my depression had come back early on during this pregnancy. My head just doesn’t deal well with the imbalances.

Im really struggling with tiredness and not being able to be as mobile these days. When I say mobile, I don’t mean I can’t walk but I have pretty bad lower back pain and pelvic pain and by the end of the day I do start to struggle going from sitting to standing etc and its quite painful. I don’t remember this happening when I was pregnant with Sofia. My back is getting really bad, if I try carry anything, even a light load of laundry, I regret it immediately. Sofia doesn’t help cause she’s always wanting to be picked up and at 2 and half years old she’s not light!

Im really starting to struggle with Sofia, and I feel like she’s running circles round me these days. She hates having her nappy changed or a change or clothes in general at the moment and its a real fight pretty much every time, I’m really finding it hard to essentially make her have it changed. She’s so strong and kicks when she doesn’t want to be changed and I’m so scared she will kick the baby.

Im starting to panic about how soon this baby will be arriving! Im excited but a bit scared too, I love being Sofias mummy and being able to give her my undivided attention but I just can’t see how I will manage that with a newborn. I guess I’m scared of the logistics of it all, I know once she’s here I will find my stride with two children, I’m just worried about the time at the beginning where I’m sure I will be flailing!

Only 9 weeks left!

Danielle xx

30 Weeks Pregnant

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Im 30 weeks pregnant today. I can’t believe there is only about 10 weeks to go till I meet my baby. Theres something about going from the 20 odd weeks to the 30 odd weeks that seem to make it feel very close. Id be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Im not sure I’m prepared enough.

I know I’ve done it all before but part of whats scaring me is just that, I’ve done this before and nothing went to plan or went how I would have chose. I came out the other side of child birth last time pretty adamant I wasn’t going to put myself through it again.

But then as time passed and I’ve either forgotten or gotten over the worst of it I realised it was all worth it. Sofia is the best thing in my life and id go through it all again for her so I assume I will feel the same way this time round given a bit of time and distance from the actual event after. It will just be another chapter I can close off and forget about and have another beautiful daughter in my life.

But I’m not at that point yet, I’ve still got the labour part to come, so I’m scared.

I’m feeling awfully tired at the moment, its been this way the whole pregnancy really, ever since I found out I was pregnant. I really would have just hibernated this whole pregnancy if I could have. As it turns out 2 year olds don’t really understand that mummy is tired because she is creating a human and I can’t do as much as I used to, so that has been hard. Its not all bad, I did have about 2 weeks in the middle of my pregnancy where I felt I was getting my energy back!

Im extremely lucky that in my last pregnancy I never got any stretch marks. Theres still none cropping up but the bigger I get the more nervous I am that I won’t be so lucky this time round. I know theres nothing wrong with having stretch marks but if there was a choice id happily pass on them, its just one more thing you have to get used to about your “new body” after having a baby.

I really don’t want to jinx it but I think I’m finally getting better! Im still bit sniffily and have a lingering cough but for the past couple of days I’ve felt so much better in myself. So I think I’m on the mend!

Danielle xx

29 Weeks Pregnant

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Im 29 weeks and 3 days pregnant today with my second baby. Im really not good at being pregnant, I know its a weird thing to say, I just don’t feel like my body copes very well with it. I definitely haven’t achieved the “pregnancy glow” some women manage. This pregnancy id go as far to say I hate being pregnant. I do realise how lucky I am to have a beautiful healthy 2 year old and another so far healthy pregnancy and baby but its so hard feeling awful to varying degrees for 9 months.

I feel like this second pregnancy has definitely been harder than my first. My depression came back in the first trimester and hasn’t really gone away too much since, there are days where I’m a lot better but they are few and far between, I’m just trying to plod on the best I can. I seem to be catching every little thing at the moment and have constantly been ill with one thing or another since about mid November. I don’t think my immune system is as good when I’m pregnant at all and its not that great to begin with!

Sorry this all sounds so down in the dumps. I just keep looking forward to my due date (or there about obviously). I can’t wait to meet our daughter and cuddle a newborn again. I’m really looking forward to seeing Sofia with her little sister, she already loves her, she’s always kissing my belly, its so very cute.

I feel like I’m huge with this pregnancy, I’ve looked back at the few photos I have of me when I was pregnant with Sofia and I look a good few weeks ahead of what I was.

I’m at that stage where when I’m laying in the bath she wriggles about and my whole belly moves around like some strange alien trying to get out. Its my favourite thing about pregnancy, probably the only thing I like. Theres something so lovely when its just me and her and she lets me know she’s there.

Danielle xx

The picture up top is from when I was 32 weeks pregnant with Sofia, it was from our engagement photo shoot. I think I look about this big now this time round! The photo was taken by Happily Ever Captured.