Meal Plan – 7th February

 

We have been filling the freezer with too many extra meals recently and we are at capacity!

I find it difficult to just cook for 2 people so I often make double the amount and freeze it then I can cram everything with loads of veg and we use less meat. Its kind of a win win for money and our health.

It also helps on days where neither myself or Chris want to face cooking we still have something that was home made and were not resorting to either a takeaway or bad convenience freezer food.

I had a bad weekend mood wise so I thought that just in case this week gets on top of me again, cooking is one thing I don’t have to worry about so we will be using a few things I’ve made previously and put in the freezer.

Its meant our weekly shop from ASDA is pretty small and not overly healthy looking! Still plenty of fruit though as we are all using it as snacks at the moment.

So this is what we are having this week, its really not overly exciting!

Tuesday
Pasta carbonara with bacon – we have a pot of carbonara sauce which needs using and this is a very easy meal for me to make.

Wednesday
Chicken salad

Thursday
Macaroni cheese (frozen)

Friday
Chicken and chorizo paella (frozen)

Saturday
Turkey stew with new potatoes (frozen)

Sunday
Vegetable Singapore noodles (frozen)

Monday
Spaghetti bolognese (frozen)

Danielle xx

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This little girls clothes

Recently I’ve been writing a post about our weekends on Mondays, which is something I really like doing as its family time that I can look back on as most of the things we do as a family happen on weekends.

If you read my post from Saturday you will already know I wasn’t having the best weekend and we didn’t really do much. We took Sofia to dance on Saturday morning but other than that we just stayed home.

Im feeling a lot better today. Theres something about Mondays that I quite like. Its like a mini fresh start.

As I said in my post about baby stuff the other week we already have a lot of baby girl clothes as we kept all of the clothes we had for Sofia and we love most of them still.

I got them all out to go through and wash a while ago and was amazed by how small Sofia was when she was born. At the moment I have all our tiny baby size and newborn size clothes out in her drawer. I may not need the tiny baby ones but since we had them from last time it doesn’t hurt to have them there ready just in case, especially as its looking like this little girl will also be a little baby too.

We wanted to get a couple of bits that we love that won’t have been her big sisters first. Its been so difficult to only buy a couple of bits cause every time we are in a shop that sells baby stuff I see newborn clothes that are so so cute!

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We got two packs of 3 sleep suits from M&S.

I really like blue floral prints on little girls. I’m not against pink I just don’t like to dress girls in pink all the time. I think the print with the rabbits all over will be our little ones coming home outfit, its my favourite.

Sorry there isn’t a link for the pack in the second picture, I couldn’t find it on their website so I’m not sure if they still do that print.

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As Sofia was born in June we didn’t have any long sleeve vests for her so we picked up a pack of them from M&S too in the same prints.

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We got a pack of Winnie the Pooh short sleeve vests from George. We didn’t really need more vests but if I’m honest I think they were a bit of an impulse buy but I’m sure I won’t regret having lots of vests from what I remember of looking after a newborn! These are similar, I couldn’t find the same ones online for a link.

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This knitted hat and mittens were from George, this was something we didn’t have from last time as it was too warm for knitwear when Sofia was born, she had some jersey hats but barely ever used them, she spent a lot of her newborn days at home in tiny sleeveless vests because it was so hot when she was born. Im hoping it won’t be too cold when this one arrives but with it being the end of march it won’t be overly warm yet either.

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This cardigan was from M&S, I loved that it was a nice pale blue that would look nice with her sleep suits and it has bear ears on the hood, it seems I can’t resist them! This is the same cardigan but in teal as I can’t find the blue that I bought in store, they have it in lots of colours.

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We also got a snowsuit from George as a just in case if its cold. Again it has bear ears on the hood. They’re just too cute!

I still have lots to sort out before she arrives and only a few weeks to do it. Im very excited to meet her. Im looking forward to seeing how Sofia is as a big sister. She loves looking after dolls and is so good with Tahlia, my niece, I’m hoping she will enjoy being a big sister.

Danielle xx

 

My Sunday photo

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I haven’t taken many photos this week, it’s not really been a great week for me mentally, this was actually from Monday, Monday was a really good day. We had made chocolate cookies together. She liked making them possibly more than eating them! 

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Danielle xx

Another difficult week.

I feel like crap and there is no real reason for it.

Its been a bad week but again for no real reason.

Im very sorry that I always seem to be complaining about one thing or another but I want to be honest and this is where my head is at the moment. Being honest is the only way this blog will help me process things, which is really one of the biggest reasons I started it, I need something to help me process now I’ve stopped counselling and writing to myself helps me get it out of my system and helps me reflect.

I can’t seem to pin point why I’m feeling the way I am, there could be lots of little reasons and maybe its just the combination of these things thats making things hard right now.

Im 33 weeks pregnant and my body aches, it’s winter, always cold and grey out, I’m very tired and never seem to catch up with anything.

Or maybe I’m just at a point in this being a stay at home parent thing that its getting on top of me. Ive been doing this for just over 2 and half years now.

Being a stay at home mum is what I want and I don’t want to change it. I’m 99.9% sure it is what is best for Sofia and what will be best for our baby on the way too.

But it is so hard.

In 2 and half years I’ve not had a break from Sofia for more than 24 hours. I’ve only ever had 2 nights away from her, once for our wedding anniversary last year and once for a spa night away, both of which were just under a year ago. I love her more than anything but if I’m totally honest I need a break. Its not even that I exactly want a break as such, I don’t like to be away from her, I feel selfish, I just know it does me good.

I don’t like to ask for help even when I need it so its not overly often anyone other than my husband looks after Sofia, sometimes my parents or my sister in law but only when we have something to get done, not exactly for down time. I have an amazing husband who lets me have an hour or a couple of hours here and there where I lock myself in the bathroom and have a bath and try to shut out the world.

Another problem I think I may have brushed over the topic on here is that I have awful social anxiety which stops me from going out of the house. We go out on a weekend as a family and every so often I may go out with my mum for lunch during the week. But that is it. I hate admitting thats the case because I know how weird that makes me sound.

I wish I could enjoy being out on my own but I just can’t so I don’t do it, I find it so hard to even push myself out the door (I know this is not healthy behaviour from a grown woman). Over the years I’ve somehow managed to isolate myself from pretty much everyone, I seem to find it very difficult to connect with others, its only family I see, I don’t really have many friends at all and none that I see in person or even talk to on a regular basis.

I realise a lot of this is my fault. Theres a huge part of me that doesn’t want friends because I find it like this mine field of how I should act or what I should say or how often should I be texting etc etc… its exhausting but thats just part and parcel of life with social anxiety. Its this big contradiction, not wanting to see people but being desperate to at the same time.

I think maybe this is why everything is getting on top of me right now, before I became a mum I had these mental health problems which are hard to deal with, I now have a toddler who is hard work (no more than any other but all toddlers are hard work) and then theres the pregnancy, I think its this that is pushing me over the edge at the moment.

I want to be a few weeks in the future when my baby is here and I’m not pregnant anymore.

I don’t really know the reason why I’m not right at the moment but what it comes down to is that I’m not ok at the moment. Im just really trying to persevere and hopefully things get better. I’m sure they will, they always do.

This post gives me such a pit in my stomach to post and I know why, its because I’ve touched on my anxiety, its not something I talk about completely openly about with everyone but I can’t just leave it out on here, it would be too difficult to talk about how I’m feeling as it effects me every day and in every decision I ever make so it may not always make sense when I talk about it, this is because I don’t really fully understand why I am the way I am myself.

Danielle xx

33 Weeks Pregnant

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So today I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I don’t know how it is managing to go so quickly now but it is really scaring me. I want time to slow down.

I’m excited to meet my second little daughter but I’m so happy being a mum of one and I feel like I want to hold onto that just a little bit longer. I guess a lot comes down to nerves for the hard times ahead which change always brings.

Im not one of the mums thats going to miss being pregnant. I’m so thankful that I am able to have carried two children but it has defiantly not been rainbows and sunshine, as crude as it sounds, pregnancy to me is a means to an amazing can’t live without it end, but there is an end for a very good reason. I can’t be a good mother while I’m pregnant. Im sure there are a lot of women who can power through but I’m just not one of them, I really struggle with the tiredness pregnancy brings me daily and its making me feel like I’m letting Sofia down.

Whenever I look at my bump moving around of its own accord I always try to think about how things will be. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to imagine this baby and what she will look like, all I can come up with is a double of Sofia, which would be lovely but I’m sure she will be similar but not the same. Im really curious now.

We bought a comforter for the new baby this week. Its really colourful, with a lions head on it and has different textures. Im hoping she will take to this, Sofia never wanted a comforter or favourite teddy etc but I think it would have done some good. I think I was her comforter! I just hope its not the same this time, I won’t be able to devote all my attention to the new baby all the time, I have my Sofia who also needs attention so I’m hoping we will get her attached to this lion.

I keep getting super strong what I can only describe as nesting urges, yesterday I just felt like I had to move the furniture around in the back room and it felt like it couldn’t wait until my husband was home so I did it myself. My back really didn’t thank me for that. It makes me feel so much calmer though to see it where everything is now. I can be a little like this normally but when I’m pregnant it seems like if I don’t move things or do whatever it is I have the urge to do that it starts to plague my head. So far this pregnancy nothing in the parts of this house that we use is as it was before I got pregnant. (I say the parts of the house we use as this is my parents house but we have our own living room and bedrooms here)

I don’t feel like my bump is getting much bigger as such at the moment. It probably is, its not like I’m measuring it or anything but I just don’t feel bigger. I feel so big and stretched anyways, maybe I’m just not noticing it. I find that in my head I’m smaller than I am though, my brain hasn’t caught up, I keep not being able to squeeze myself between people or things like I used to.

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On the physical front I’m still very tired all the time and I’m defiantly not getting any good nights sleep. Last night all down my right leg was hurting all night for no reason, no matter how I laid it wouldn’t go away, hopefully thats not a new pregnancy symptom. I find I’m feeling sick every so often and getting quite a queasy stomach. Its usually on an evening that I’m feeling a bit nauseous.

Just 7 more weeks to go!

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Danielle xx

Meal Plan – 31st January

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I was bit bad this week and have only just this morning (Tuesday) ordered my weekly shop to arrive on Wednesday morning. Thankfully with me in all day I can generally make this work fine but I hate being so unorganised.

I started my meal plan Monday night while I was cooking dinner for me and my husband which was late to be doing it in itself but half way through I was doing a bit of tidying up around the house and I found one of the family cats had died. It was very expected, she was super old and not well at all but after that I wasn’t really in the mood for sorting things out.

The picture up top is of the butter chicken curry I made last week, not the prettiest of meals but I think its a really yummy curry. As you can see I love to add a load of cauliflower to curries, I’m sure its nothing like a traditional butter chicken curry its just my version that we like. Also I know the portion looks tiny, it is, I’m a little and often type of person when it comes to food.

So this is our plan for the week.

Tuesday
Butter Chicken Curry – This is leftover from Friday which I froze.

Wednesday
Prawn Salad

Thursday
Vegetable Singapore Noodles – page 181 of the “all in one” slimming world book (I couldn’t find a link for this one)

Friday
Chicken and chorizo paella – Jamie Oliver recipe without the prawns

Saturday
Cheats leek macaroni cheese – Slimming world recipe

Sunday
Roast – I will attempt this again, hopefully I’ll feel better about it this time round, I’m going to make it how I’ve always made it though so it will not be healthy!

Monday
Beef stew – This was a leftover that was put into the freezer

Whenever I make a meal that I can make enough for another meal and freeze I do, I find this reduces our food bill and also makes sure I’m not spending every evening cooking a big meal but we still have something thats homemade and packed full of veg.

Each week we make sure we try one or two dishes we haven’t made before, use something from the freezer from a previous week and also something that I have made many times before and don’t have to think about how to make it as I go on auto pilot. This seems to work well for us so that we don’t get stuck in a rut but also I’m not spending my life trying to decipher recipes. I don’t know about anyone else but when I cook from a recipe it seems to take me forever to get it made.

At the moment Sofia doesn’t eat tea with us as we had to bring her bedtime forward a while ago so the meal plans I post on here are just for me and my husband. On Sundays we make dinner early though so we do all eat together.

I miss eating together every night, firstly its easier just sorting out one meal but also because my family was always an eat at the table together each night type of family and its something I want to carry on with my children. Unfortunately with children you are always having to adapt routines, there will come a time again when Sofia will eat with us again every night just not yet, with her being so young and not having naps during the day she needs an early bed time.

Danielle xx

This Weekend

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It was an up and down weekend for me, pretty much thats usual though. Id like to say its a pregnancy thing, and it definitely doesn’t help but its not that, its just how I am. I have the worst mood swings, I think my husband must be a saint to keep up with me some times.

We had an earlier than normal start on Saturday but hopefully soon it will be our normal as Sofia has started dance lessons on Saturday mornings. Its a class just for little ones and from how its been explained to me its more about getting them moving around and learning movements than actual dance techniques which to me sounds like a good thing as she’s only 2 and half!

My sister in law teaches the class and I think that helped in making Sofia feel comfortable and enjoy herself as she hasn’t ever been to a class before let alone one where you leave them to it. I never did mummy and me classes due to my awful social anxiety.

While Sofia was having fun dancing, me and Chris got a rare 45mins just us so we went across the road to the Costa to have a coffee which was really nice, I had a hot chocolate as I don’t drink tea or coffee though. Unfortunately hot chocolate doesn’t wake you up like coffee does!

Once Sofia was finished she came out with a big smile on her face and holding a feather that she had been playing with in class. Ive tried to get her to show me what she was doing with the feather but she won’t. I think a class like this will do her a lot of good, she spends all her time with me and we don’t know many other children so she isn’t around a lot of kids. Thankfully she doesn’t seem to have any problems with socialising from what we have seen but I just don’t want it to be a complete shock to her when she starts nursery.

We then went to go swimming. This is something we do most weekends but have been very lax on it recently. Basically I got ill over the Christmas period so we didn’t go for a few weeks but that carried on after I got better.

Swimming is something we all enjoy but once it gets out of the routine I have to push myself to start going again. I think before this weekend we had only been once as a family since Christmas. Chris goes to the gym there each week and is a lot better than me at pushing himself to go. But it has been freezing and swimming seems to be the last thing I want to do when its cold! But I’m glad we went.

Things went a bit downhill after swimming though, I felt good about the morning so when we got home and the momentum stopped my mood fell. It happens every time, I go from being really happy and feeling really good to like I’ve just face planted the floor and its not because anything bad happened it just seems to take for me to stop for my mood to fall off a cliff.

The same happened on Sunday. We had a good productive morning of going out to get a Chicken for the roast that evening and some bits for my hospital bag for when I have this baby.

The fall wasn’t quite as bad as on Saturday but it was still there. I don’t think it helps that its so cold at the moment. Sorry to keep winging on about the temperature, I just constantly feel cold and it helps to put me in a bad mood!

I really want spring to arrive. I want the grey dreary sky and the cold to go away, I’m sick of feeling down. I do seem to be effected by the seasons a lot when it comes to my mood.

My parents went on holiday to the Caribbean on Saturday so we have the house to ourselves for 2 weeks which is nice. Things just seem to run smoother when theres only one household living here, I’m sure they feel the same when we are away. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for what my parents do for us but it doesn’t mean its a perfect situation.

But with my parents away I made the roast dinner and WOW am I out of practice. It was a right flop. Well by my standards anyways. My mum does an amazing roast dinner and I used to be able to make a good one but I tried to make it as healthy as I could for my husband but it just didn’t work out as well as I would have hoped.

On a good note I made a slimming world friendly version of roast potatoes from a recipe which were really nice.

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I managed to pick myself back up on Sunday evening by having a nice hot bath with one of the scented candles I had treated myself to while we were shopping and listening to some relaxing music, its about the only way I can really wind down at the moment.

Sorry for the lack of photos from this weekend, I was bit crappy at getting the camera out.

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The above photo isn’t a great photo, It was just Sofias reaction to dropping an egg after she had been told not to play with it. She wasn’t expecting it to smash!

Danielle xx

32 Weeks Pregnant

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I meant to write this yesterday after my appointment but it all went bit wrong as Sofia had a 10 minute nap in the car and then wouldn’t go to bed until half 9! (she is usually in bed between 6-7pm)

So I’m 32 weeks and two days today. I had my 32 week growth scan yesterday afternoon. Baby is looking ok, she is 3lb 11oz at the moment which I’m told is the low end of normal for 32 weeks. It looks like maybe I just make small babies, Sofia was 5lb 15oz when she was born. I have another growth scan booked for 36 weeks to make sure the baby is still growing well.

Baby likes being awkward at scans, she never seems to be in the position the radiographer wants her to be in for getting measurements. Apparently she is head down at the moment, I guess its early days but hopefully she will stay that way.

Im finding sleeping so difficult now, I feel like I never get a good nights sleep.

Really struggling with the tiredness, I know I say this every time but it just seems to be getting worse. Most of the day I feel like I’m just going through the motions cause I just don’t have the energy to put into anything at the moment.

Its making me really crabby as well, I keep getting annoyed over everything. Ive never been one of them wives who gets annoyed at their husband for not reading their mind but at the moment I can’t help it, half the time I just feel too exhausted to explain everything that needs doing especially since usually it would be me who does most of the things I’m getting frustrated over so its not really even his fault as he wouldn’t think to do the little bits I do to keep things ticking over.

This is just what tiredness does to you, well me anyways, it changes me into someone I don’t like. I don’t play enough with Sofia, Im an annoying wife and I can’t do what I want to get done so I get frustrated all the time. I know I have a lot of tiredness to come with a newborn but it is different to when your pregnant, I feel like my body is the problem not a little baby who doesn’t want to go to sleep and I’m finding it really difficult to be patient with myself, its easier to be patient with a baby.

It doesn’t help that although Sofia is only 2 and half she doesn’t nap anymore, she dropped her last nap at 1 and half much to my dismay, I used to love nap time. It was a chance to get some down time to myself or get something id been trying to get done but couldn’t with a little one around without feeling guilty that someone else was looking after her but nap time hasn’t been a thing in our house for a long time unfortunately.

Im still finding my back and hips are really painful by the end of each day. The only thing that even slightly helps is hot baths.

Maybe a little tmi but I’m needing to go the loo so often now, I can’t seem to manage the night anymore without at least one trip to the loo and during the day I feel like I’m constantly in there and when I’m not it feels like she’s sat onto of my bladder!

To be honest things aren’t really too much different week to week now, everything just gets bit harder the bigger I get and although she’s a tiny baby, I feel massive.

Danielle xx

Meal Plan – 24th January

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I was actually good this week and did our weekly shop from Tesco on Sunday night like I mean to every week and never manage it. Making a meal plan really helps with this.

I also really do find I spend less when I’ve made a meal plan, its easier to stick to what you need when you know what your going to be making. Our shop isn’t being super cheap at the moment though as we are buying so much fruit and veg, but thats much better than spending a load on food thats bad for us.

I find with having lots of nice fruit in I’m snacking on the bad stuff less. Id much rather a handful of grapes than a bag of crisps. I think I was eating a lot of junk as snacks just because it was there and it was convenient but to be honest most fruit doesn’t take much prep work so I find I’m choosing that.

Our grocery shop arrived today (Tuesday) so I’ve started this weeks meal plan on Tuesday evening. Theres no meat in the picture up top as I generally don’t buy it on weekly shops unless we need something for a meal that we don’t already have in, I buy lots of meat at a time and freeze it so I can portion it and not waste any.

Tuesday
Chicken enchiladas – not exactly a healthy meal but we have a jar of sauce that needs using

Wednesday
Chicken Salad

Thursday
Cheesy mushroom pasta – page 77 of the “all in one” slimming world book

Friday
Butter chicken curry – again, not exactly too healthy but we have half a jar of curry paste that needs using

Saturday
Turkey, apple and cider casserole – cooked in the slow cooker

Sunday
Roast dinner

Monday
Spaghetti Bolognese

We are trying to make our evening meals as healthy/slimming world compliant as possible but we have lots of food in the cupboard which needs using so we won’t be wasting that, we will just try spread it out over time so theres not too much impact.

Danielle xx